*Burger King’s Mac n’ Cheetos are back for a limited time!
After selling out quickly in June of 2016, the fast food giant is trotting this unholy hybrid of traditional macaroni and cheese encased in a deep fried Cheetos shell.
Yeah. That’s what I said.
Let’s just address the elephant in the room: I’m nervous whenever white folks try to serve up mac & cheese. There. I said it. I love my white folks, but mac & cheese is not one of their strong suits. Brie and crackers, maybe. But mac & cheese? No.
Then, there’s the Cheetos shell. Even more than I love my white folks, I love my Cheetos. A handful of Flamin’ Hot Puffed Cheetos is hard to beat. But using that precious Cheetos dust to wrap up what’s basically boxed mac & cheese? No.
Just no.
Even fat ass Al Roker said no to Mac n’ Cheetos just after they were released last summer.
And I don’t want to hear from anyone suggesting I’m fat shaming brother Al. In my [cook] book, “fat” is a frame of mind, not a size or a number on the scale. “Fat” is shorthand for “foodie,” and brother Al certainly fits the bill — even with all of the weight he’s lost and kept off. Have you SEEN the guy during a cooking segment on Today? OK, then. He’s like a fat assed kid in a candy store.
And to tear a page from the “let he who is without sin” playbook, yes I’m fat! I’m “fat” at 215 pounds and I’d still be fat at 115…which is supported by the inordinate amount of time I spend thinking about — and writing about — food!).
But back to these blasphemous Mac n’ Cheetos…
Clearly, brother Al and I are in the minority with regard to this “product,” which sold out quickly last year and has just been re-released — like the Kraken — to an unsuspecting public.
No disrespect to Burger King. If I ever go back to eating fast food hamburgers, BK’s will be the first drive thru I roll up on.
But it won’t be for an order of Mac n’ Cheetos.
Just. No.
But then, maybe I’m being too hard on Burger King. Any restaurant that offers a Fruit Loops Milk Shake — you heard me! — can’t be all bad, right?
Let me get my fat ass over there this weekend.
Have YOU tried Mac n’ Cheetos? The Fruit Loops Milk Shake? What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
This blog was written by fat ass freelancer Michael P Coleman. Connect with him on Twitter.
