Thieves Abscond With Shark In A Baby Stroller

Summer heat can really bring out the strangest behavior in people. Being a summer of record-breaking heat, the limits of weird have been steadily pushed. The season comes with timeless suggestions like not swimming alone, reapplying sunscreen every one to two hours when basking, going on vacations, eating ice cream, and the like. Perhaps this should’ve been clearly marked on a sign to warn anyone considering, but don’t steal sharks out of aquariums.

In a new realm of idiocy that’s so astounding we can’t embellish, this just happened.

In the San Antonio Aquarium in Texas, there lives a small horn-shark named Miss Helen. Like many aquariums, it was open for visitors to pet the fish as they swim around. Sharknapping, however, is out of the question. The suspects in question weren’t your average petty thieves, they were apparently well-studied in marine life.

They were recorded using a net to pull Miss Helen out of the water and put her in a baby stroller. Inside a bucket of water, they wheeled Miss Helen out of the aquarium to their getaway vehicle. They were caught in the parking lot by someone who worked at the aquarium and after veritably saying “nope, nothing to see here!” they sped off.

Video surveillance footage was put all over local media and residents rallied in support of rescuing Miss Helen. Americans use an average of 88 gallons of water every day, but these thieves certainly used more to support their aquatic crimes. The police were successfully found the house of the thieves and after inspecting the inside, they discovered a large indoor pool with Miss Helen among other several other ill-acquired sea creatures. Apparently, it was well-made and maintained, too.

?It looked like almost a mock-up. Luckily, the thief was someone who knew what he was doing,? remarked the police chief.

Aquarium officials feared that environmental shock would’ve killed Miss Helen. The thieves were, if anything, knowledgeable enough to look out for the safety of their prize, which likely kept the little shark alive. They allegedly tried to provide police with a receipt for the shark, which was clearly forged. They were arrested and charged with theft, though their crimes might even go to the federal level. Perhaps they didn’t know that illegal wildlife transportation is everything but a petty crime.

Miss Helen was rescued and is in good health whilst being reacclimated to her proper aquarium home.

?She?s a tough little horn shark, I?ll tell you that. I?m really proud of her,? said the aquarium’s assistant director of husbandry, Jamie Shank. We’re glad, too.

This summer, if nautical nonsense be something you wish, do us a favor and don’t steal a fish.